Hey all--

I gave up AIM for Lent. It's strange, but abstaining from AIM or food hasn't been that hard for me this year. Maybe it was because I was sick earlier, so I was kind of used to not feeling like eating. The hard part is filling myself with God. Because to do that, I have to confess that there are other non-heaven-sent desires in my heart.

Um, so, I actually get along with my dad these days. I feel like it's a miracle because, prior to my grandma moving into our house, I had every intention of going off to college and never coming back home because I couldn't stand my dad. I guess having my grandma live with us helps me to understand where my dad is coming from better. When she moved in, I was really angry and frustrated at the whole situation, but God definitely has greater plans and way more foresight than we do.

I visit this xanga like once a week.

-Rebecca

so for lent, i gave up being negative/complaining. i've realized now how pessimistic i am and i am trying to change that. i have reduced the amount i complain a lot but still have negative thoughts/feelings from time to time. i think lately i've withdrawn from people, especially church. some of u may have noticed or not, i didn't go to church last friday or the two past sundays. i definitely made excuses for myself not going, but to be honest i just don't feel a home at church. it's probably my fault for not being as outgoing or whatever as i should. i feel weird being open about this on xanga but i just want u all to know that although i like being alone.. i am now feeling lonely. im sure u know the difference. i dont go to school with any of u guys..so its hard to get to know some of you that i only see once or twice a week. i am really bad at initiating conversations..so im just asking for some of you to show the love to me. ask me to hang out. im sick of just being a nerd and staying home all weekend. i can honestly say i have not hung out with a group of people just to hang out, excluding bday parties, for months now. so please include me next time you hang out. i dont want to feel so estranged from everyone anymore. thanks for reading. if u want to know more, just ask me.

steph